u can explore i want to work while I am there. you are working… u can explore possibly ok things are never the way you want it to be. when everything seems perfect or near perfect, it sucks. it smacks you in the face like you screamed at your elders. you want to run but you can't because you are too old. you want to say every foul thing you ever learned. wtf? i'm trying to figure why I am so upset about him not being home already. control? why? who the fuck cares! do whatever the fuck you want to do so you can do whatever the fuck you can do. You can't have your cake and eat it too. so what you have the day off. big fuckin deal. fuck him. he's a moron and has no sense. let it go. best medicine for you. he doesn't want to see you. yea maybe. so what? you don't really want to see him. you just want to win and have control of the situation. come one. ring your next. hello?????? like the we chat emoticon. hello?????? who are we kidding??? drugs alcohol numb drugs alcohol happy drugs alcohol sane in this moment alcohol has brought me here along with music over him. over him. over him fuck him. when did it get this way? when the hell did it get this way his little boy bullshit